La Behemoth


Marita: Flavio, Flavio, Flavio!
Flavio: Marita, Marita, Marita!
F+M : What shall we do?
What will become of us two?
The help is gone, the maid is through,
What will become of us two?
MaleTB: (spoken) Uh oh. Now who‘ll clean our cages?

Marita: I‘m calling up the agency to find a new housekeeper
Flavio: She‘s calling up the agency to find a new housekeeper!
Marita: A chambermaid, a gourmet chef, a trendy carpet sweeper
Flavio: A chambermaid, a gourmet chef, a trendy carpet sweeper!
Marita: (spoken) Why are you repeating everything that I am singing?
Flavio: (sung) Why am I repeating everything that you--
(spoken) I do not know.

Marita: (into phone) Hello, hello, Marita Hippo here,
I‘m having an emergency
My life is filled with urgency
We need to hire servancy
We need a new housekeeper!
(spoken) But...but...oh, very well.
Flavio: Marita, my poor wilting lily, what is the matter?
Marita: They cannot send us a new maid until Monday morning.
Flavio: Monday morning?!
F+M : (sung) What shall we do?
What will become of us two?

Flavio: (spoken) Have no fear, Marita dear, I have a plan.
Marita: Pray tell, Flavio!
Flavio: (sung) I‘ll do the windows and push the vacuum
Polish the parlor, scrub out the bathroom!
(spoken) Ung! This is _hard_.

Marita: I will not worry; I will not fear
I‘ll do laundry until help is here,
Fold the trousers and starch the shirts
And I‘ll do laundry until it hurts!
(spoken) Aie! This is really not so amusing!

Flavio: Dinner is easy, simple like a dream
Cleaning the chicken, scrubbing the beans!
Add in two tablespoons into a pot,
Stir fry until hot! (BOOM!)
(spoken) Perhaps next time we take out Chinese.

Tbirds: Poor little hippos, husband and wife,
They haven‘t a clue; they haven‘t a life.
A tragic conclusion; see how they cry,
Poor hippopotami!

F+M : What will we do?
What will become of me and you?

(doorbell rings, maid returns)

Maid : (spoken) I forgot my featherduster.
Flavio: (sung) We realize we‘ve been wrong; we treated you unfair.
How can we make it up and show you how we care?
F+M : Come clean for us,
Come clean for us,
Come back and clean for us.
We‘ll give you anything you ask,
Just say you‘ll clean for us!
Maid : (spoken) Oh, alright.
F+M : (sung) She‘ll clean for us!
She‘ll clean for us!
She said she really will!
A happy ending, everyone,
She said she‘ll clean for us!
MaleTB: (spoken) There‘s a twist -- an opera with a happy ending.