[chris rock intro]
Goodevening class of 1999 i have
One piece of advice for you no
Matter what a stripper tells you
There is no sex in the champagne
Room
Oh theres champange in the champagne
Room but you dont want champange you
Sex in the champange room
Dont go to parties with metal detectors
Sure it fells safe inside but what about
All those mutherfucka's waitin outside wit
Guns they know you aint got one if a women
Says shes twenty and she looks sixteen shes
Twelve if she tells you shes twentysix and
Looks twentysix shes damn near 40 take off
That silly ass hat the odb couldn't have
Possible commited all those crimes coolio did
Some of that shit young blackman if you go to
The movie theater and someone steps on your foot
Let it slide why spend the next twenty years in
Jail cause someone smudged your pumas cornbread
Aint nothin wrong wit that no matter what you think
Of what im saying remember this one thing theres
No sex in he champagne room
[gerald lervert]
Uhh
No sex in the champagne room
No sex in the champagne room
No sex in the champagne room
No sex in the champagne room
No sex in the champagne room
No sex in the champagne room
Abosolety postively no sex in the champagne
Abosolety postively no sex in the champagne
[chris rock]
If a homeless person has a funny sign
He hasn't been homeless for that long
A real homeless person is too hungry
To be funny if a girl has a pierced tongue
She'll probably suck you dick if a guy has
A pireced tongue he'll probably suck you dick
Heres a harascope for everyone
Aquarius your going die
Capricorn your going die
Gemini your going die twice
Leo your going die
Scorpio your going die fuckin
No one go's to hooters for wings
If you been datinga man for four
Months and you haven't met any of
His friends your not his girlfriend
Some of the things i've said may not
Apply to you some of the things i may
Have said may offened you
No matter who you are yo must
Remember this one thing no matter
What a stripper says
There is no sex in the champagne room
None!
[gerald lervert]
Theres no sex sex in the champagne room
Theres no sex sex in the champagne room
Theres no sex sex in the champagne room
Theres no sex sex in the champagne room
Theres no sex sex in the champagne room
Aint get none cant have none, naa
In the champagne room
There is absolutely postively no sex
In the champagne room
Na na say, no no ooow there aint no sex
In the champagne room na na say na na
Repeat until fade