What I Like About Jews


OY! Oy vey.
OY! Oy vey.

What I like about Jews
They‘re real cool guys.
Abused by the Germans and the Romans but they took it in stride.
Yeah!
They have big noses and they have big years.
They get allergies 9 months out of the year.
But that‘s cool.
That‘s what I like about Jews.

What I like about Jews
They‘re circumsized.
If you wanna buy a big TV, they‘ll get it at a real good price.
Yeah!
They say things like "I‘m so faklenz I could plotz!"
And they don‘t really like to eat hotdogs.
I don‘t too.
That‘s what I like about Jews.

What I like about Jews.
That‘s what I like about Jews.
Yeah!

"Oh, my allergies! It‘s terrible!
It‘s stings in my eyes! Something awful!
Oh! Oh! Oh, this bagel‘s so stale! Yeah!"

Oy vey!
Oy vey!

What I like about Jews
Are their advice.
They can be holy men but still have Kosher sex with their wives.
Yeah!
Boys make Barmitzvah‘s when they reach 13 years.
They can‘t marry Cristian‘s and they can‘t marry queers.
That‘s the rules.
That‘s what I like about Jews.

What I like about Jews.
That‘s what I like about Jews.

OY! Oy vey!
OY! OY! OY! OY!
Oy vey!
OY! OY! OY! OY!

"I don‘t like Airplanes very much!
The peanuts they serve make me
neasious! And the terbulance is just awful!
I have very low bone mass and it makes me very frail!
Oh! Oh, It‘s so drafty in here!
Could ya, could ya shut that window.
Could ya, oh. No, now it‘s too
stuffy. No, just open it a crack.
Yeah, oh, oh it smells stale in here!

Could I, could I have a bag of potato chips?
Just, I just want one
chip, that‘s all I want.
Okay, you can‘t have one can you? No, you
just, you gotta have another chip!"