Singers:
Here is the tale of a babysitting job,
the baby is something of a snob,
Stewie:
Oh, go fuck yourselves
Singers:
So listen very closely, and you‘ll find
that what they say is not the same as what‘s on their minds
Haylie:
Aren‘t you a cute little boy
Haylie‘s Thoughts:
look at that melon shaped head
Stewie:
Having you here is a joy
Stewie‘s Thoughts:
and in an hour you‘ll be dead
Haylie:
Sit on my knee
Haylie‘s Thoughts:
please don‘t go poo
Stewie:
Nice place to be
Stewie‘s Thoughts:
This one‘s for you
Both:
Babysitting is a bum deal
Haylie:
Why don‘t we watch Will & Grace
Thought:
Jesus, do I need a smoke
Stewie:
Jack puts a smile on my face
Thought:
oh, what a surprise, a gay joke
Haylie:
I like your house
Thought:
the ceiling has cracks
Stewie:
I like your blouse
Thought:
Miss TJ Maxx
Both:
Babysitting is a bum deal
Singers:
So they sat as time went by
Haylie:
slowly as time could go
Singers:
the baby blared, and softly cursed
Stewie:
cause her lips, and her skirt, and her shoes,
and her hair made her look like a hoe
Haylie:
Time for your bottle my sweet
Thought:
This little brat smells like piss
Stewie:
always a succulent treat
Thought:
while I suck that, you suck this
Haylie:
Aren‘t you a sight
Thought:
look at him drool
Stewie:
you‘re a delight
Thought:
Damn you, you fool
Both:
Babysitting is a bum deal
Singers:
The diaper change was quite a job
Haylie:
the grossest I‘ve ever seen
Singers:
The baby smiled and took a breath
Stewie:
and I grunted and pooped out a poop,
that looked something like Matthew Modine
Haylie:
someday you might meet a girl
Thought:
yeah, she‘s gonna be your right hand
Stewie:
Maybe it‘s you my sweet pearl
Thought:
darling, I‘d rather fuck sand
Haylie:
Have a good night
Thought:
you little creep
Stewie:
Have a good night
Thought:
Die in your sleep
Both:
Babysitting is a bum deal
Babysitting is a bum deal.